So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
