i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
