i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
