You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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