I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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