you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
