After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
