Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
