it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
