I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
