Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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