just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
