What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
