Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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