yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
