I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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