I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
