Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I didn't shave. On purpose
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
