He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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