U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
