apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
