But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Drake has all the answers
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
