am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
NoShamevember. You game?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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