You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
