You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
