I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
