Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
