Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize
