Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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