i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
All the doctor said was why
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
