The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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