grandma shit on top of the toilet
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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