Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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