i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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