I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
