he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
