Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize