Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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