yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just googled if crying burns calories
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
