Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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