i don't plan on having that self control this summer
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
