haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
