Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize