Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
