not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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