My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize