Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
