i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
