That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
