Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
