dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
