I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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