Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
