Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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