I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think people are normalizing furries
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
