Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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