You're a womanizer and a bitch.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
