There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
