I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
