We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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