Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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