She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize